FML

I really don't know what to do anymore. My life is messed up... and I'm the one messing it up. I'm out of control.  I haven't been going to school, and now I have to go to the guidance office tomorrow at school to talk about "why I don't want to go to school". Ugh. Do they really expect me to be honest? I'm just going to give them a stupid answer like "I'm tired" or something. I'm so behind in school now. I wish they'd understand why I can't go. No one understands. Then, my parents got mad that I didn't go today. I was going to go in late until my parents started yelling at me. They can get their point across without throwing their yelling tantrums that they have everyday. I really don't want to live here anymore. I wish I could just run away, but I have no where to go.

My mom always says "You can always tell me how you feel" all the type of shit. Well, guess what? Every time I do, it all blows up in my face. I tried telling her something today, and she said I was being "mean and nasty" and that I "don't deserve to even have a mother" and that I'm a bitch, and that she wishes I would just move out of the house.

Everything I say results in some sort of fight in this house. All I told her was that "I feel like I have to live up to higher expectations then I can" and she blew up at me. What for? This is the kinda shit I get yelled at for. Every fucking day.

I'm so sick of it.

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere anymore. I don't want to exist anymore.

Good school days.

One of my favorite things right now, is having fun at school. It's so new to me. I haven't had fun in school since I was in third grade. I love going to school, and being disappointed to leave a class, because it's fun. Last year, I hated school. I'm actually happy about going to school tomorrow.


I love this feeling. :)

My Sister.

We're not really sisters, but I think of her as one. Vexi is the sweetest, and most trustworthy person I've ever met. I've seriously never had a better friend. We have so much in common, and it seems like we became friends so fast! The first time we really talked on the phone, it lasted two hours! She's one of the very few people that I've never run out of things to talk about! If we lived close to each other, I know we'd be best friends! And now we might even see each other over Christmas break!

A reason why I like Him.

Only a few people know exactly who I like. I don't trust many people. I think the MAIN reason I like him is because he's very polite to everyone. I've never seen him be mean. That's how I first noticed him. He's in a couple of my classes, and he always is respectful towards teachers, and actually participates in class. He's different from all the other guys in my classes. Most the guys act like they're too cool for everything. He never acts better than anyone else either. :D