FML

I really don't know what to do anymore. My life is messed up... and I'm the one messing it up. I'm out of control.  I haven't been going to school, and now I have to go to the guidance office tomorrow at school to talk about "why I don't want to go to school". Ugh. Do they really expect me to be honest? I'm just going to give them a stupid answer like "I'm tired" or something. I'm so behind in school now. I wish they'd understand why I can't go. No one understands. Then, my parents got mad that I didn't go today. I was going to go in late until my parents started yelling at me. They can get their point across without throwing their yelling tantrums that they have everyday. I really don't want to live here anymore. I wish I could just run away, but I have no where to go.

My mom always says "You can always tell me how you feel" all the type of shit. Well, guess what? Every time I do, it all blows up in my face. I tried telling her something today, and she said I was being "mean and nasty" and that I "don't deserve to even have a mother" and that I'm a bitch, and that she wishes I would just move out of the house.

Everything I say results in some sort of fight in this house. All I told her was that "I feel like I have to live up to higher expectations then I can" and she blew up at me. What for? This is the kinda shit I get yelled at for. Every fucking day.

I'm so sick of it.

I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to be anywhere anymore. I don't want to exist anymore.